Anytime I feel a hint of a negative emotion, I go into panic-mode.
"Why am I feeling this?"
"Why am I not feeling happy?... Oh no, that means I'm an unhappy person!"
"I am so negative."
"Everyone will think I am negative."
"I can never be 100% happy."
Well, at least one of these is somewhat correct.
Let's dissect the following statement: "I can never be 100% happy."
What is 100% happy? How is happiness measured? What exactly is happiness? Why are we expected to always be happy?
If we are not 100% happy, it does not mean that we are miserable. It is completely okay to feel other emotions besides happiness, and they don't always have to be positive.
Why is it when we feel happy, we don't think, "I am such a positive and happy person!", but when we have a single negative emotion or feeling, we beat ourselves up - "I'm such a negative person. I don't know what it's like to be happy."
Yes, you do. Everyone has felt happiness at some point in their lives. It also depends what you define as happiness - is it something that needs to be grandiose, or something as simple as having a nice cup of coffee for breakfast?
It is unfair to allow a particular emotion to define our entire life. If you are feeling happy at that moment, then you are happy - at that moment. If you are sad, then you are sad - at that moment.
It is time that we start living in the moment and not be so critical of the emotions that we feel. We are putting too much pressure on ourselves to constantly feel happy, and that may result in increased risk of developing negative emotions due to the unrealistic goal of feeling happy all the time.
Instead of seeking to feel happy all the time, we should strive for self-compassion.
Would you expect your friend to be happy all the time? If so, then you have extremely high expectations of your friend, and you have set yourself up for disappointment and risk hurting your friendship. So, why would you set such high expectations for yourself, especially with something so fragile as your emotions and feelings?
Be gentle with yourself.
Think - "This too shall pass."
